A Leap of Faith onto A Virtual Road Less Traveled

Tuesday, 26 May 2009 04:28

The virtual world of Second Life® certainly has become a big part of our real lives, but there was a time, back in 2006, when we were just learning about it. No one in our circle of friends or family knew about the virtual world of Second Life®. At the time, Second Life® was hardly even mentioned to them just so we could avoid being stared at and questioned about our decisions and direction from people who had absolutely no idea about this subject. The virtual world was a vast unknown, an uncut path. The curious road less traveled.

Prior to my involvement in Second Life®, I was the same as the majority of people in my circle of friends and family. I had no experience nor interest in on-line games. I hadn't so much as chatted or instant messaged. I was busy enough being the mother to two young children in real life and keeping up with all that goes with it. Though I admit, I needed an outlet from full-time 'mommy-ing', I never in a lifetime thought I would find it in a 'virtual world'.

Watching over my husband's shoulder, I got a glimpse of Second Life® for the first time in June 2006. I thought it was like the popular 'The Sims' game, because that's all I had to compare. I later realized Second Life® went way beyond 'The Sims'. As he explained it to me, my husband became more fascinated with the dynamics and possibilities which Second Life® presents. Being an expert in the field of 'New Media and Technology', Jay's enthusiasm filled us both with excitement.

I shared my husband's enthusiasm, but to a degree. Frankly, it went over my head, so, as a supportive spouse, I would just smile and nod as he rambled on. Personally, the thought of taking on a virtual world existence on top of my weighted real world existence didn't appeal to me. I decided to take a 'wait and see' approach. Besides, I wondered if he was onto a technological fad. I hadn't even consider what Second Life® had in store for me, aside from taking up my husband's valuable time.

A month or so after joining 'Second Life', Jay was noticeably more involved. In-world, he had friends, a new look, an on-line persona, an entire character that interacted with other characters. He participated in every available class, accepted many invitations to socialize, network, explore all while building and designing original work. That's all well and good, but, while he was devoting more time to the virtual world, I was feeling rather lonely in the real world, resorting to watching hours of commercial-filled television while he feverishly interacted with others logged in to the virtual world.

In support of his dedication, I joined him at his desk from time to time and watch as he evolved in Second Life®. I would inquire, critique, observe and then just go back to the couch and sulk. It was like we were together physically, but a world apart. His tapping at the keyboard, one person laughter (from the abundant chat humor in SL), the late hours and his unshakeable focus on the computer began to bother me.

Although I often watched as he explored Second Life®, he had plenty of alone time there, too. I'm sure he thought a while before he disclosed to me the off-beat propositions he received when I was not looking over his shoulder. Second Life® had presented its' wild and naughty side. My husbands decision to remain honest about these virtual propositions actually strengthened our real life marriage. I knew women were interested in him, but I couldnt believe how crass many of them were! There are every kind of people in the world, virtual worlds are certainly a prime example of that! He was not, in all my confidence, putting our marriage on the line, so, I didnt get upset. I maintained a very mature state of mind about this ultra-hip new world experience. Second Life® is not a physical world, it is an intellectual, social and visual world. Getting the kind of attention a shining new starlet in Hollywood receives, Jay prodded on as a 3-D builder and social networker, quickly moving through the ranks from newbie to expert. Apple MacKay is personable and attractive. No one knew by looking at him that he was real-life married, but he made it clear to anyone pursuing him beyond friendship. The dating scene in Second Life® is very lively. We had been through too much to let something like this get in our way. And something like this could potentially get in the way.

By August, I, too, made a decision. Realizing Jay's continued enthusiasm and confidence in this developing world, I had to either 'beat him senseless or simply join him'. I had to decide on which side of the line I was standing - for or against the idea of a 'virtual life' online. Then, without any prior online experience or expectations, I took a 'virtual leap of faith' and enthusiastically joined him in Second Life®, taking our real relationship with us.

The evening of August 15, 2006, I boldly entered the bizarre new world of Second Life®. Allowing some time to carefully consider a neo-name for myself, I chose 'Nasus Dumart'. 'Nasus' is 'Susan' spelled backwards. I am the first 'Nasus' in 'Second Life'. 'Dumart' was just a name from the available selection that day. It sounds much like my maiden name, so, 'Dumart' became my Second Life® surname. 'Nasus Dumart' seemed like a middle of the road name. It is not wacky, nor is it normal. It suits me in SL.

Choosing my Second Life® name was entirely a personal decision. Modifying my given avatar (everyone gets a generic avatar to start) required some guidance. Naturally, I turned to my husband for his expertise. Having 'Apple MacKay' as my personal pathfinder in Second Life® has made all the difference. With no experience in on-line gaming, I needed his expertise and insight along the way.

As 'Apple MacKay' presented me with options in customizing my look, I began to realize the first of many depths of what I was entering into. This was an opportunity to customize myself, upon whim, and eventually my formed my entire existence in the metaverse. He had asked me a poignant question, "What do you want to make of your second life?" My dreams of being tall, thin, glamorous and adventurous suddenly came true. At times, I enjoy being the famed 'cackling witch' from the Bugs Bunny series, or a studious schoolgirl, or a Terrapin Hippie. It all depends on my mood. I found this to be very accommodating to expressing the many untapped expressions of the 'real me'.

Without prior experience using 'chat', I was a bit apprehensive about joining in the conversation. I was comfortable just reading what everyone else was saying. Standing there without engaging in chat can be rude in Second Life®, or any other life. There is an consideration of newcomers to SL, however, others engaged me in their conversations, so I got used to type-talking. Conversing with others became a great part of the fun.

Once I got past the excitement of being in Second Life®, things came more into focus. I couldn't figure why in a boundless world, where one can explore the world and do what is not possible in the real world, a large number of women chose to narrowly channel themselves as so sexually explicit and 'loose'. Albeit, many people are doing exactly that because it is what they truly want, it's their choice and I respect that entirely as a freedom. That's not what I am about and I knew that if I were to enjoy my time in Second Life®, I had to find 'suitable' clothes and intelligent life out there. While my husband enjoyed his time gaming, building in sandboxes, socializing, teaching and learning about the mechanisms of SL, I wanted something more personally enriching. I no longer felt I had to be in his shadow. After all, it was my second life, my outlet, my time. There was a great big world in which to explore. I knew enough about navigating, appearance, etiquette and culture, I felt I was ready to explore on my own. And out on my own I went.

For the first several months in Second Life® I was 'single'. Though I wasn't looking, I too was getting the attention that I scolded my husband for. I brushed it off, knowing the people on the other side of the flirty avatars had no idea that I am a devoted, married woman until I told them so. Having this perspective, I understood my husband more.

'Apple' and I were essentially 'dating' each other in SL. It was fun to experience that with him again, even though we were married with children for several years. In Second Life®, we got dressed up, went to amazing, fun places and socialized as a couple. This had a real-life affect on us. Having (real-life) children and a modest budget in which to raise them, we rarely get out of the house as a couple. Suddenly, we were having fun and felt a spark of nostalgic romance.

On St. Patrick's Day in 2007, the day we opened Molaskey's Pub, Apple and Nasus officially 'partnered' in SL, which is the equivalent to virtual marriage. I think back now, at all we have built, the friends we have made, the book we wrote, and wonder what life would be like now, if I had not chosen the path that I did, in joining my husband on a virtual world journey. Would he have continued? Would I have become bitter with jealousy over the time spent in Second Life®? Instead, I decided to join him, determined to make something meaningful of it, sealing our fate with a choice and a determination to take a road less traveled. A leap of faith, indeed.

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